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Humorous Anti-Japanese Puns

30 October 2006

Anti-Japanese sentiment is rife and growing in China. The following message came by SMS from a Chinese friend. While pretty crude and racist, it is at least leavened by humour. Some may find it rather offensive, but it is actually kind of witty. A transliteration and explanation can be found below.


Rìběn jūnrén hěn sè, suǒyǐ jiào Huángjūn, hàosè jiù yào gàn nà shì, suǒyǐ jiào Rìjūn, zhànbài-hòu bù néng gàn nà shì le, zhǐ néng zìjǐ jiějué, yúshì gǎimíng wéi Zìwèi-duì, zìwèi jiù shì gàn zìjǐ, suǒyǐ jiào Rìběnrén.

The puns involved include:

The above passage thus becomes:

Japanese military personnel are lecherous, that's why they are called the 'Imperial Army' (= 'Pornographic Army'). Lecherous means they want to do that thing, that's why they are called the 'Japanese Army' (= 'Fuck Army'). After their defeat they couldn't do that thing any more, they could only resolve it themselves, so their changed their name to the 'Self-Defence Forces' (= 'Masturbation Forces'). Masturbation means fucking yourself, that's why they are called Japanese (= 'fuck self').

Alternative version:

The following version, from 2005, can be found on the Internet here and here. It is more focused on political issues (Koizumi and the comfort women issue), which makes it less nakedly racist.

Reporter: Please tell me, were there prostitutes in the Japanese Army in the past?

Koizumi: No, there were only comfort women. We fucked them, so we were called the Japanese Army (=Fuck Army).

Reporter: Are there comfort women in the Japanese Army now?

Koizumi: No, now they masturbate, so they are called the Self-Defence Forces (=Masturbation Forces).

Reporter: Then why are you called Japanese?

Koizumi: Because we all masturbate, that is to say, fuck ourselves, so we are called Japanese (=Fuck self).

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